[Originally written 9.12.03]
Since the Asshole was too busy living up to the well-earned moniker, I decided to head down to the Shore and visit Jon instead. He surprised me with a trip down to Wildwood.
We picked a good weekend to go, because there were bikes [read: motorcycles] everywhere. Seems we arrived in the middle of Roar to the Shore, wherein there is a mass migration of bikers to the beach. While rolling to our hotel, every parking lot we passed were packed with bikes. There were drunken bikers all over the place; the hotels, the boardwalk, the convenience stores. It was a nice change from the amount of stupid that usually flock to the Shore, not to mention that they would occasionally stop Jon and myself to compliment our tattoos. Somehow we wind up getting sucked into a room and wind up partying until three in the a.m.
We still managed to get some much needed rest, tooled around on bikes [of the pedal variety], ate at that fantastic pancake house, watched the waves at nite and discovered the jellyfish in Jersey glow green. There was also much smoking and consumption of ‘shroom juice, which led to much hilarity when we hit the boardwalk in the evening hour. Many conversations with random bikers ensued, and no matter what stereotypes are floating around out there, I happened to think that they were all pretty rad guys and dolls. It was definitely one of the best vacations I’ve ever had at the Shore.
Some time last week I decided to put the holes back in my face, because it’s been feeling too damn naked. The hole on the left side of my lip was still open, much to my surprize, but the right side wasn’t. So I fixed that with a needle, and it didn’t hurt as much as I was expecting it to Unlike the first time it was pierced, by a professional might I mention, it didn’t bleed. Guess I’m just that good at piercing, but I did serve an apprenticeship, so it’s not like I was bored and radomly stabbing my face.
The piering is completely fine now. Took out the ring’s because they were bothering me, and I have lovely little red jeweled studs in there now. It might sound weird, but I have been happier since I did this, and of course I want to do so much more, but I’m supposed to be finding a job, even tho performing with Jon satisfies me more than anything else I can think of. Why do I want to be a corporate slave that has to play by ‘rules’ in order to earn a paycheck that the goverement is just going to take money from anyway? It’s so much easier to be myself, take advantage of my body modifications and revel in the satisfacion of having well-deserved cash in my pocket.
In any event, I’ve had some deep thoughts about facial tattoos. To be honest, I never considered doing this before, mostly due to the fact that I have a habit of changing the way I do my make-up and didn’t think I could tolerate anything permenant on my face…and yet I’m fine with putting holes in it. Go figure. Anyway, after meeting Katzen and Enigma, the thought didn’t seem so absurd any more. Have been inspired since I saw the Lizardman and read what Michael Wilson had to say about his facial tattoos. Then there’s other awesome people like Eak and Angelica who are just fantastic and seem to forget they have facial tattoos.
Now I’m not saying I want my entire face covered, but I would like to do my eyebrows so I don’t have to draw them on all the time, and possibly some tribal inspired lines that I currently use make up to create. People ask me all the time if they are tattoos, so I gues that means I’m doing a good job. Of course I still want my head inked, and decided to let the spots cascade down my neck and even creep onto my face, tho they would be done in greywash and fade into white so they’re sublte. The tribal work I’d like would be on my chin, and maybe the bridge of my nose, tho I might want that to be branded instead. Don’t really know a lot about that so I have to do some research. In any event, I did a dawing of what I would potentially look like, including all the modifications I want on my face, and it didn’t look cluttered at all.
Now the only thing left to do is find a job that won’t mind me doing this. Fat chance, but I like to keep an open mind. While I know I could apply myself more and get any job, part of me refuses to be that damn desperate. Especially since Jon is always there for me, encouraging me to keep pursuing sideshow and hustling when we need to. In all honest, I’ve had more fun this Summer than I have in a while.
Why do I always find myself in this situation? There’s enough mone to pay what few bills I have, and the rest I use to have fun with my best friend, which is not a bad thing in my opinion. He definitely opens my mind about things, such as the fact that I don’t need a ‘real job’ to make money and be happy. Unfortunately money is needed for rent so I can get the fuck out of this house and be on my own, which of course would give me the ability to expand on my sideshow skills.
Some day all of this will change, and I suppose I just have to roll with the punches until it does. Having Jon there for support means so muchto me, even when he does ‘disappear’ for long periods of time. No matter what, he’s always going to be my best friend, because he undestands me better than anyone else. This might be too deep to say but fuck it. Jon is my whole world and truly I would be lost without him.
P.S. – Carnivale begins its season on HBO this Sunday and I am definitely lookingforward to it.