Snow, Warmth, Drugs

[Originally written 12.8.03]

Four days ago I went into the City and met up with Jon.  Don’t know how we keep having these long spans where we have no communication, but it’s for reasons that are totally understandable.  He seemed distant the last time we hung out, and I don’t want to make assumptions, but I think he’s hitting the coke way too hard.  It goes without saying thatI know how he gets around this time of year, so the signs are pretty obvious.  Just wish he would talk to me instead of trying to drown things out with drugs.  We went to a diner and just sat and talked about random things, and I made an attempt to bring up the subject of his predictable behavior concerning the upcoming ‘holiday’.  However, there was something in his eyes that kept me from doing so.  It wasn’t the right place or time, so I just smiled and laughed at his jokes instead.

Later on we’re at Thompkins Square Park drinking whiskey and smoking a blunt while people-watching.  The air was chilled, signaling the fact that snow would be arriving soon.  Everyone that passed by was bundled up in jackets, hats, gloves and scarves as tho the white stuff was already falling from the grey skies.  It was pretty quiet considering the usual traffic that comes thru, but it was kind of nice to be able to sit together on a bench without getting harassed by stupid people and their ignorant stares.  Jon seemed to become distracted at certain points, drifting off inside his own head and looking a bit lost.  Sometimes I really want to know what’s going on in his thoughts, but I am far too polite to actually ask.  It’s just one of those things we have a mutual understanding about; if he wants to talk about what’s on his mind, he will.

In other news, I went out driving on Wednesday.  One of those drives to nowhere particular.  Passed thru Jersey City into Bayonne and back again.  Saw these two gorgeous movie houses which sadly don’t really exist much any more.  It’s all sanitized, plastic multiplex theaters that charge way too much for the movie and refreshments.  To see the golden age of movie houses, palaces really, would have been such a great thing.

Friday afternoon I spent an hour getting all the snow off my car, put some warm food in my belly and managed to venture out into the falling mass of whiteness.  It really wasn’t bad if everyone kept moving, but as we all know, New Jersey is full of people who can’t drive for shit to begin with, never mind in snow.  Did pretty well if I do say so myself, and it was the rest of the drivers on the road that pissed me off.  Apparentely people fail to realize that going too slow gets you stuck.

Made it to South Jersey in one piece, and the first thing I saw when I got inside Jon’s house was his new Bally bingo pinball machine.  It came all the way from Tennesee, and the dude he bought it off of delivered it right to his house, for a small fee of course.

The rest of the evening was spent smoking ourselves stupid, because there really wasn’t much else to do in the snow, while taking turns playing that fantastic machine.  Bingo pinball was popular in the 50s and is much different than what would find in arcades.  All of the mechanics are bunches of wires and relays; no computer parts or LED displays here.  The back glass and playing field are hand painted, and they often feature classy pinups.  There are holes numbered 1 thru 25, and the point is to get the ball into said holes to create three, four and five-in-a-row on the cards that are displayed above the playing field.

Now this particular one had A thru F features, which means that when the letters are lit up, you can hit a button to spin the numbers around to better your chances of winning.  While they are in numerical order on the playing field, they are randomized on the cards.  In the old days, one would have to fill the machine with quarters to increase the odds and get the features to light up; this one just had to be prodded in the right spot.  The more the odds increase, the more points you score for getting bingo.  It sounds kind of complex, but I had no problem getting the hang of it in just a few hours.  However, maneuvering the ball thru the playing field in an attempt to get it in the right hole takes a lot of practice and skill, but it’s fun as hell.

Saturday we woke up to more snow.  Had a good breakfast and decided to go out.  We could have stayed in and watched the terrible shows on t.v., but since there was pretty much little to no traffic on the road, Jon suggested that we brave the storm and go see a movie.

It really wasn’t all that bad, and Jon drove of course, so we made it to the theater with no problems.  The snow didn’t really bother us; it was the bone-chilling wind that hurt.  Smoked a blunt before going inside, and he slipped a flask of whiskey into his jacket pocket that would be shared once we were situated.  Master and Commander was watched.  Now, not to take anything away from Pirates of the Carribean, because lets face it, Johnny Depp made a damn good pirate.  As good as that movie was, it still smacked of Disney.  This, however, was full of blood ‘n’ guts and cannon balls destroying ships.  If you like a good sea movie with lots of action, this film is definately reccomended.

We made a few stops on the way back for appropriate supplies  The rest of the day was spent making use of said provisions, writing and taking turns playing bingo pinball while Jon read up on how to finely tune it.  He made an excellent dinner that made my gut feel like it was going to burst, which was followed by smoking a massive blunt and then hitting the drags.  A couple shots of whiskey later and we were rolling in the snow outside, which then turned into a snow ball fight.  Laughed so hard my sides hurt, and my feet were kind of numb from not having decent shoes on, but I didn’t care about that or the fact snow was melting in all the wrong places as I continued to pelt him with crudely formed snow balls.  He tried to get me to go down to the ocean but I wasn’t having any of that, so we went back in and had a hot cup of mushroom tea.  Being curled up next to him for the rest of the evening was certainly full of happiness.

Sunday afternoon, I woke up with excruciating pain due to cramps .  Jon was sweet enough to go out and get me chocolate, because he understands what I am going thru.  Have to admit that it certainly made me feel loved.  In fact, he kind of spoiled me the whole day by brining me anything I asked for, ensuring that I wasn’t hurting.  As much as I think of him as my King, for reasons that may seem silly to those who don’t get our relationship or my mindset, it was really nice to be treated like a Queen for once.

Did not get to see the last episode of Carnivale again because HBO had some boxing match on, and I guess I fell asleep waiting for that to be over.  Jon said that he tried to wake me up when it was on, but I was pretty much out.

Today we’re going to the City, tho I don’t know exactly what we’re doing yet.  It’s all good; I’m pretty much up for anything as long as I am with him.  Would love to go out to the Island, as there is a certain beauty to seeing the beach covered in the snow, and I haven’t been there since September.  To take my mind off the cold, of course I have been listening to surf music non-stop, which just makes miss the Island.  Even in Winter it’s fun to go to, but I guess Jon and I are in that small category of people who feel that way.

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