[Originally written 12.27.03]
As of this moment, I know that I am definitely going out to lunch with my Dad. It is a tradition that I didn’t get to do last year, and I also have not seen or talked to him in some time, so it will be good to sit down and have lunch with him.
After that I will be meeting up with Jon, and we shall be taking in John John Jesse’s art at the Fuse Gallery. He finally emerged from his private nam and apologized for the lack of contact. Following our drinking game fun, I went thru the process of spending the ‘holiday’ with the Asshole and his family. Which was better than being alone, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking about Jon the entire time. Of coure I understand what the ‘holiday’ does to him, considering his mom and dad have been dead for a number of years, he has no living blood relatives and our Family was murdered earlier this year. Putting it that way, I honestly cannot imagine the kind of torment one must endure watching everyone else visit with loved ones. Just thinking about it makes my heart ache.
What he does to himslef is another story, but I won’t talk about that here.
When I mentioned my plans to the Asshole [obviously omitting the part where I would have company] he actually said: “You don’t want to do that on your birhday.”
First of all, I don’t remember asking for his opinion. Secondly, my birthday is on a Tuesday, so it’s not like there are a lot of things to do. Is he planning something? If that is the case, he better say something now and not wait for the last mintue like he always does. Besides, I do believe that it is my birthday and I can do whatever I want with whomever I want. This will be the second time I get to spend it with someone who means the world to me, and I would not trade that for anything.
The Asshole also made no mention of New Year’s Eve, which is not at all surprizing. Again, I suspect that he is waiting until the last minute to say something. The few times I decided to spend NYE with him, we did not go out or do much of anything. To be honest I do not feel like being in the apartment, and I would rather hang out by myself than repeat that.
Besides, I am currently sorting out details to attempt spending NYE in NYC. It is something I have never done, and while I would not be among the huge crowds in Times Square, I would be close enough and could say that I have actually celebrated NYE in the City at least once. Things like that mean something to me, even if they seem insignificant to others.
At least Jon is giving me something to look forward to as far as my birthday is concerned. No one else could be bothered to make any sort of plans, and that has always been one of the main reasons I hate my birthday so much. It is five days after Gift-mas and the day before NYE, so people are occupied with visiting relatives, going to parties or whatever, and I understand that. Really I do. However, other people should not expect me to care when their birthday comes around, because they are certainly going to get what they give.
Have to plan my outfits, makeup and hair, as well as somehow contain my excitement for the next three days as I fill with curiosity of what Jon has planned.