Bigfish Barbershop

[Originally written on this date in 2004.]

There are quite a few things I need to cover before heading into work today, and I just hope I can gather all of my thoughts into a cohesive entry without trailing off on tangents.

First order of business is that lovely dinner I had with Jon the other nite.  My day at the Palace was spent feeling as tho I walked on air, my face stuck in a smile and happiness evident in my composure.  He sent me a few text messages to let me know when he was on his way and when he got into the city.  Knowing how much he hates driving in the Big Apple, I have to say I certainly felt special.

When that beautiful Chevy pulled up to the curb, my stomach swelled with butterflies.  It was not until I got in and we were several blocks away from the chaos of Times Square that I had a good look at him.  There was a joint gripped in his mouth as tattooed hands grasped the steering wheel and he concentrated on the task of driving.  As much as I want to say that I swooned, instead I felt a bit of sadness by his appearance, and the obvious signs of drug use is something that I am familiar with seeing.  It was best not to focus on that, mainly because it was really hard to ignore the fact I was grinning like a goofball.

Jon finally broke the silence by asking me how I was, what the job was like and assorted other bits of small talk which made the ride into Brooklyn a comfortable one.  We arrived at La Casa Bella and were immediately seated, ordering quickly because we were both hungry and already knew what we wanted.  Dinner conversation was pleasant and any feelings that had arisen in the Chevy earlier were easily replaced by pure joy.  Between laughing and smiling while eating, my face ached and I was loving every moment.

After dinner he drove us back to Jersey and surprised me by taking to the movie theater to see Big Fish.  Do I even have to say how much it rocked?  Especially since there were plenty of circus scenes, and it is a Tim Burton creation, which showed in the aesthetics and styling of the film.  You know how before the movie starts they have previews of other movies and sometimes even commercials?  Well, I had to make mention of the Altoids commercial, as it took place on a carnival midway.  You see all the banners for the live freaks, the bearded lady, and a crowd of people standing around a booth, where a salesman is showing off the Altoids.

It is something I am thinking about now, because last nite I had a series of dreams where I was at or in a carnival, surrounded by colorfully painted banner lines; I was in the acts, helping the acts, and at one point I was searching for the Gentelman Geek.  Yes, perhaps I really shouldn’t eat before I go to bed.  Oh, and as for the end of that lovely date, let’s just say that Jon held me for quite some time and was quite hesitant in allowing me to slip out of his arms.  Can’t blame him considering I had so much fun and did not want it to end.

Had a brainstorm today, so I will be working on my book tomorrow at work.

Why do all the weird people in the City feel the need to talk to me?  They are not weird in that good way either.  More like the creepy, drunk and not in the right state of mind way.

This guy walked into the Palace yesterday, drawn by the music [as many are], and complained that it sounded as tho it were a Caucasian woman singing.  Okay, and your point is what?  He then proceeded to fill me in about his life, as tho I really cared.  What do you do in a position like that?  Nod and smile, but then it gets to the point where you feel really uncomfortable, because you don’t have a clue as to what to say.

Thankfully he left, but he said that he would be back today.  As will that dude that came in last week and spent hours reading my palms and pulling all sorts of astrological bullshit out of his ass.

Suppose that I tend to look more approachable than I have in the past.  It’s funny – you look a certain way, and no one wants to talk to you.  Then you subtly change a few things, just to see what sort of reaction people have, and suddenly more and more of them think it is perfectly acceptable to not only approach you, but also to flirt with you.  There is a fine line between being friendly versus a creepy dude that thinks I am going to fall for bullshit.  Which is so hilarious even if I feel second-hand embarrassment from time to time, but men should know better than to fuck with a Carny.

It has come to my attention that compliments are on the rise since I styled my hair differently.  Pulled down my fringe last week and have been wearing it in a nice V-shape for a while.  Of  course I certainly enjoy the style, but I feel that only certain things gain a positive reaction.  Everything I do is for myself and no one else, so when one thing gets too much attention, it makes me feel fake, if that makes sense.  Jon mentioned that it looked nice but that he always enjoyed seeing the things I did with my hair.  As if I would ever doubt a compliment from him, but from other people and especially strangers, it’s as tho their words are meant for the superficial aspect and not actually me.

Must express my disappointment that more people didn’t come to the Great Show Show Show Caberet last nite.  It was my first time seeing it the show, which consisted of clowns and burlesque, and of course I thought it was fantastic.  Then again, after a long day of entertaining people, it is really nice to be able to watch a great performance while relaxing with a beer.  Sometimes I wonder if this is really a job or just a fantasy.

More odd dreams visited me this morning and I don’t remember most of them, except for the nasty spiders that literally woke me up out of a sound sleep.  Eventually I will learn that eating food late at nite before sleep creates strange dreams.

Have to finish assembling my face and get rolling.  Yesterday I got to Newark earlier than I have been and actually didn’t have to pay to park, as I found a spot on the street.  Since I saved money, I would like to try and do it again today.

Looking forward to another weekend filled with much writing and relaxation, as well as a much needed hair cut.  Jon assured me that there was a nice shop he wanted to take me to where I could trust the barber and would be satisfied with the work.  It’s always good to know I have someone to help me out with things like that and will be eager to get down to South Jersey after a long week.

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