Beach Bums

[Originally written on this date in 2004]

Friday morning I got a phone call from Jon stating that we were going on a trip. An hour or so later we were packed up and  headed south on the Parkway.  Turned up the surf tunes while smoking a joint with the windows rolled down.  Riding in that Chevy is always great – it feels as though we are cruising along the asphalt ocean in search of adventure.  The sky was devoid of clouds when we arrived in Wildwood and I smiled as the sun hit my face.  Jon scored an efficiency suite with a direct view of the ocean for only $65 a nite.  Bless pre-season prices.  It is difficult for me to think of things that are more fun than getting stoned with my best friend with the beach literally right outside.  Activities that afternoon included flying a kite off the balcony, walking the boards after consuming drugs and having way too many Fear and Loathing moments, spending money in the arcades, seeing dozens of pristine Corvettes and going to the zoo.

There were a bunch of kids down there for some drum line competition.  Needless to say that once again we managed to scare them without even trying and it’s great.  They think they are so big and bad with their fashionable attire, which consists of super spooky black clothes, studded belts, wallet chains, numerous bracelets and whatever else makes them “cool”.  No matter how alternative they have convinced themselves they are, all it takes is one glance at us and they have no clue what to say.

Personally I do not find my appearance to be that outrageous, even though I am well aware of the fact that I have numerous tattoos and piercings, which apparently are incredibly fascinating to other people.  Suppose that is due to the fact that heavily modified people are more prone to be found in NYC than walking the streets of New Jersey, but that does not mean they are nonexistent.  Jon is pretty much the most tattooed person I know, plus he has always worn whatever he wants because it makes him feel comfortable, and his attitude has definitely rubbed off on me.  Perhaps I also enjoy the fact that when we are together I seem to even forget that either of us are modified unless someone decides to point it out.  Which earns them a stern look from Jon that shuts them up right quick.

It cold be argued that these kids are just finding their own identity, but I have heard people admit they do it for attention or because it bothers their parents or shocks their friends.  Well and good for you, since you can just take it off when you get bored.  Meanwhile others are getting bullied because of their dedication to an alternative lifestyle, which I have to say is far more than just something I use for ‘dress up’ or whatever.

Though I confess that I find amusement in their reactions upon seeing us, it can get a bit annoying.   Jon usually comes up with some witty remark that embarrasses them and makes them find something else to look at, which is why I prefer his company when having to deal with the general public.  He has a way of naturally boosting my confidence and doesn’t need to do anything more than be in my presence.  It sounds weird, but I just feel so comfortable when I am around him that I forget other people even exist.

The evening was lost to smoking a fat blunt and wandering aimlessly on the beach in search of the ocean.  There are also vague memories of a treasure hunt that ended with Jon losing his shoes and me having a coughing fit from laughing too much.  We also made a scene at a convenience store because he was demanding they replace his lost footwear, which confused the teenager behind the cashier.  He did manage to get us seated in a restaurant that clearly had a “no shoes, no service” policy posted on the door, and I have no idea how he did it.  The food was decent but Jon complained the service was slow and convinced me to slip out the back door.

Back at the hotel room, we did shots of whiskey and yelled at the terrible programming on television before passing out.

The following morning we checked out and cruised around town for a while before settling down for lunch.  Met up with some people he knew afterwards to hang out on the ocean.  Cannot remember the last time I was on a boat so I had an absolute blast!  Of course his friends also know how to throw a wicked boat party, which spanned several hours and almost caused us to drift too far out to sea.  There were plenty of pirate jokes and mentions of “plundering booty” along with imitations of Captain Morgan as rum was consumed.  Good times.

Coming back to land was kind of disappointing, but one cannot exactly live on the ocean and I did get to spend the evening being wined and dined.  Jon even dressed up for the occasion, which for him means putting on the most obscene clothing he can find.  Pants that are more patches than actual material, a T-shirt that is disintigrating but has enough of the image present, red silk vest from the thrift store and a black velvet blazer that has Outlaw Cirkus imagery emblazoned across the back.  Our feet are bare but it doesn’t matter because we are sitting on the beach with a bottle of port, some cheese, crackers and fruit.  It’s quiet but noisy at the same time because the ocean likes to make its presence known.

It was extremely late when I found myself back on the Parkway – my head was full of wonderful memories by the time I got back and snuck into bed.


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