In Your Head

Recently I was reunited with a slew of items I had left in someone’s basement upon moving out over a year and a half ago.  Long story short, I have been spending some time reading old journals, because I always like to see how much my life has changed and find a sense of pride in how well my writing has evolved over the years.  Among the entries that are faded due to being written in pencil and doodles that fill up most of the margins, there are works of prose that have been inspired by or dedicated to my late friend Jon, with a few that were written from his perspective long after his death.  These words haunt me on occasion, as they are things he had either said to me or jotted down on random pieces of paper when the mood to do so struck him.  While the memories can cause a variety of emotions to fill me when reading these works, I find myself compelled to share them in the hopes that someone out there will enjoy them as much as I do.

+++

Heroin-kissed veins cleansed of sin
Shots of whiskey to silence voices within
Lines of cocaine to numb the pain
In the end, shit’s always the same
Can’t run or hide from my fears
But I can close my eyes and disappear

Shot after shot; line after line
Needle in my arm, time after time
Throw me a bottle, ‘cos I’m going full throttle
Drinking down whiskey and tears

Another sleepless night, body feeling cold
Demons come to taunt me; it’s getting old
Lonely soul in the desert, looking up at the stars
Thousands of miles on the road to bury the scars

Racing down a one-way track with the devil
Light a joint and put the pedal to the metal
Nitro-burning rat rod heating up the asphalt
There is no coming back if I get caught

“It is clear that now is not your time
But one of these days, you will be mine”

High-octane engine waiting to stall
Paranoid that one day I would fall
A victim of this blackened, broken heart
My life was meant for ruin from the start

Heroin-kissed veins cleansed of sin
Shots of whiskey to silence voices within
Lines of cocaine to numb the pain
In the end, shit’s always the same
Can’t run or hide from my fears
But I can close my eyes and disappear

Shot after shot; line after line
Needle in my arm, time after time
Throw me a bottle, ‘cos I’m going full throttle
Drowning myself in whiskey and tears

+++

West coast sunset painted on a postcard
Faded colors and tattered corners
Too many miles away from this tired body
But right at my fingertips when I sleep
Thousands of grains of sand under my head
Powdered mirror twisting my reflection
Atlantic Ocean roaring in the distance
Tonight I am flying among the stars
Far above the cold boardwalk
Into the valley of sun and tan skin
Palm trees and sparkling blue waves
Don’t want a California girl
Fake friends that are dead and gone
Never needed their empty shells
My weary soul aches for rest
Another round of lines to numb the pain
Reaching for that picture perfect sunset
Bury it deep in the dry sand once more
Alongside hopes and dreams of my youth
Take that long hard road instead
Lonely miles that build up sorrow
What if I don’t make it past tomorrow?

+++

A cocktail of mud and blood
dripping down his tattooed face
A young man in the fight of his life
where failure meant disgrace

A rebel consumed by the blues
who struggled to walk the line
and became lost deep in love
A legend ahead of his time

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2 comments on “In Your Head

  1. Google says:

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  2. overzealous says:

    Greetings, how are you? I hope you are doing well. I needed to say that I like this article and really feel the emotion that you put into it.

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