[Originally written on this date in 2004]
Keeping the fact that I knew my days in E-town were numbered proved to be easier than I thought. My main paranoia was that somehow the Asshole would find out my plans, which is most likely the reason I did not really say much about it on-line. Aware of the fact that the end of the year was slowly creeping up, I have been talking with my new sideshow partner about the possibility of living together. This is not a decision I came to easily, but with Jon in some detached funk I need to help myself right now.
Drove down to South Jersey to meet up with my partner and we checked out some apartments. They were decently sized, but unfortunately our weekly income has to match the monthly rent. While that is not entirely impossible, I currently have no income at the moment and do not want to put the responsibility on another person. Understanding that I did not want to pay rent for yet another month and being around someone I really dislike, he had a talk with his mother. Long story short, I am going to move in with him until we could find something. Needless to say, there was no argument and I may have profusely thanked him with a hint of tears in my voice.
Of course I had to share the good new with Jon, so I drove down to his place and stumbled over myself with excitement. Though I have had a long standing open invite, there were times when announcing a random visit in advance would have saved me from having to see something I most likely did not want to. Walking in to find Jon in the middle of doing coke was definitely not what I expected, but not surprising either. We had a really long discussion full of complicated things and heavy emotions, which led to my best friend breaking down in tears, apologizing for being a failure and swearing that he was going to stop abusing drugs.
Once we got our heads straight I tell him I would like to cook dinner for as. Though I greatly enjoy going out with him, sometimes it is really nice enjoying a meal without feeling like it’s feeding time at the zoo. The source of our food became a local grocery store, which are always fun to go to at night, though I am still not quite sure why I am so amused by the way people react when we are there. For instance, while browsing the refrigerated selection of animal flesh, a father was trying to convince his son that he will eat steak and like it. The son proceeded to whine that he didn’t want steak. Suddenly the boy gets very quiet as we chose our meat, eyes wide and scanning our tattoos. Along with the hunk of cow flesh, we purchased some veggies and tiramisu for desert.
Took charge of preparations when we returned and the whole meal came out a delicious success. It always pleases me when he consumes the food I made. Watched some television while allowing for said food to digest, and then dug into the tiramisu. Jon absently remarks he is happy I am getting out of E-town but there is a sadness in his voice that suggests he wishes he could be the one providing shelter for me. Having to leave him was like being asked to cut off a finger.
The plan to spend most of my time packing in preparation for the move was slightly delayed due to the fact that the Asshole had no work for two days. However, on Thursday I set myself to the task at hand, filling a storage bin with all of my clothes. A couple more were filled with books, CDs, photos and other assorted things.
Panic seized me the morning I had planned to leave, as he was still home when I woke up. For a moment I was afraid that he had no work, but thankfully he departed. That set me into over drive, and I have to give myself credit for cramming so much stuff into those bins in such a short amount of time. My friend arrived sometime after eight – the majority of my things were packed and ready to be loaded into his truck. An hour later, all important items were distributed between our two vehicles and I left that apartment for good.
Arrived in South Jersey a bit after ten, unloaded everything and situated it so that it would not be in anyone’s way until there was space cleared out for me to unpack. Having the rest of the day to kill, we hit up a flea market. There really was not much that interested me, but I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I just got out of E-town without any trouble and would never have to deal with the Asshole again.
It felt good to go to bed that night knowing I had successfully made my escape, not just from E-town, but from that whole county in general and all the bullshit attatched to it. Now I can focus on all those things I have wanted to do and I am much happier already. There has been no word from the Asshole, but I was not expecting any either. This just proves that despite his unconvincing act, he really does not care about me, and that is fine. He can have the whole apartment to himself now, just like he always wanted.
Since it has been a while, I thought I would end this entry by talking about the progress of my body modifications.
Some time ago my two septum holes grew together again. All was not lost though, as I was able to slip in 6g jewelry with no problems. A few weeks back I stretched to a 4g and it has been slighty sore since, but of course I am doing my usual care routine and trying not to hit it. Had a reaction to the tape that I used to wrap my plugs. My ears were a little over 1 1/4″, so I was certainly worried when they swelled and started to ooze. Promptly removed the plugs, treated the lobes with sea salt soaks and waited an entire week. Thankfully they recovered, but unfortunately the holes shrank.
Put in a pair of tunnels I had lying around and kept those in for a few days before they started falling out. In went the 7/16″ tunnels, and yesterday I already had to wrap them to keep them in my ear holes. No reactions have occurred and I just have to take things slow.
In 18 days I am getting my name tattooed across my chest in a nice banner held by two-headed swallows. Sort of an homage to sideshow banner art, and this will be the second that I helped design. Pretty psyched about that and all of the shows that are coming up this month, so I have to say my new life thus far is fairly awesome.