Saint Patrick’s Day at the Rail

Our St Patrick’s Day show featuring FREE corn beef,  cabbage & green beer, PLUS Irish Karaoke, PLUS real circus sideshow entertainment with NO COVER and ya can’t beat FREE!!!

THIS WEEKS GUEST ARTISTS: hometown heroes Electric  Sideshow and our friends from Philly the Unholy Sideshow!

The Karaoke Sideshow St. Patrick’s Day Show featuring FREE corn beef  and cabbage with plenty of green beer to go around!
PLUS prizes, giveaways and lots of other happy Irish horseshit !!
PLUS karaoke and circus sideshow entertainment with NO COVER CHARGE!!!  In other words IT’S FREE PEOPLE and ya can’t beat free admission!

THE KARAOKE SIDESHOW appearing at the Rail every Thursday night!  Located on Main Street in historic Boundbrook, NJ – this karaoke show is like no other.  Sing your heart out on a real vintage microphone and select your tune from a library over 8000 songs.  Witness LIVE circus sideshow entertainment featuring a veteran sideshow entertainer performing a two man fire eating act called BLAZE!
But that’s not all!  Using an 18 pound sledge hammer, stare in disbelief as he smashes a heavy cinder block to pieces upon the chest of Mar Omega, who is lying atop a bed of 500 nine inch nails.  Now that’s entertainment!
But that’s still not all folks!  Surprise performances, guest performers and new acts arrive every week, and there are always plenty of prize give away’s!  Pool table, foozball, great food, cheap drink prices, 25 TV’s, as well as some of the best singing talent in the Garden Sate.



Though slightly ridiculous, this is the press release that is being circulated around Myspace advertising the next Electric Sideshow performance at the Rail.  Determined to premiere myself as a Geek, I decided to head out for another attempt at purchasing some worms.  As luck would have it, Pet Smart actually had them this time, so I picked up a small container of them and  got a bag full of crickets as well.  Of course no sooner was I celebrating my success then did I find out the Rail will not allow me to eat worms or insects.  Apparently it would be a health code violation since they sell food.  The guy who runs Karaoke Sideshow said the owner is a wuss and would love to see me eat some bugs, but we have to play by the rules, even if you don’t feel they are fair.

Earlier in the day I headed over to see James in order to take care of that pesky oil change once and for all.  Now I am not particularly good with my car;  I put gas in it and on the occasion make sure the damn thing doesn’t blow up.  However, seeing as how it is my only mode of transportation and I would be pretty fucked without it, I am trying to take better care of it.  Of course time spent with James always puts me in a humored mood.  He is one of a few people who can always make me laugh, and there are certainly plenty of times I am in dire need of it.

With business taken care of, I came back to the house and was relieved that everyone would be out for the evening, as that meant I could have some alone time.

The day before my show at the Rail, I had a few last preparations to make.  Mainly, breaking a few more bottles for the debut of my Glass Walking and Bed of Glass routines.  While doing so, I got to thinking.  So far the performances have been going well, and I make it no secret that sideshow is my passion – I do it because I love it and if I happen to profit from it, well that would be really nice.  Who wouldn’t want to make money doing what they love?  When I reflect back to last year and see where I was then compared to where I am now, I still find it hard to believe.  After losing all the progress I made with Outlaw Cirkus and with Jon unable [and not wanting to] perform, I have had to start at the bottom again.  It will be through hard work and determination that Electric Sideshow will slowly climb the proverbial ladder.

Then I started missing Jon and had to focus on the noise of the glass as I sifted through it and spilled the broken, glittering pieces into the storage container I would be using for the act.

On the day where everyone and their brother’s cousin’s uncle’s sister’s mother-in-law’s husband’s father’s daughter’s aunt’s grandparent’s and the dog wears green as an excuse to get as drunk as possible, Electric Sideshow made a fourth appearance at the Rail.  Before I get to the details of that evening’s festivities, first allow me to speak of the aesthetic preparations.  Took my sweet ass time freshly shaving my head before going into the shower.  Since I was in the mood to do something new with my hair, I dyed some weft black in hopes of creating length that swept away from my face instead of the usual parted-down-the-middle.  Makeup was done in green blending into gold with black brows.  Extensions were was glued in, teased, greased and sprayed into a tiny pompadour, which I then accented with flowers covered in green glitter.

Dressed in my favored combo of DIY threads: Vanity Kills baby-T, Human Blockhead vest and black skirt.  All items needed for the performance were gathered.  Lifting the cinder block with my ears was scrapped due to the fact that it was too heavy and I was unable to find a replace item in time.  In my bag I had: two nails, a hammer, an ice pick, a screw driver, chains, a five pound weight, clear length of tubing and a container full of red liquid.

There were a lot of people already hanging out when I arrived at the Rail and was ready to hand out some of the freshly printed business cards.  Point of note, I was greeted by name the second I walked through the door and pleased that I was finally being recognized by the staff.  Once I got to the bar area I took a seat with James and some of his friends at a table near the front.  Reverend from the Unholy Sideshow complimented my vest, and that really helped boost my confidence.  My attention was diverted between speaking with James, and what he was talking to Barry about.  Somehow I end up giving advice on sword swallowing.

It seems to be a standard that a drink is consumed before performing, and while I do not want anyone to think I need alcohol in order to do any of my acts, it does aid in sucking up any nervousness I may have, giving me the ability to adlib the pitch as I go along.  At the bar I get a shot of whiskey to start things off, which is followed by a shot called Cocaine that had a rather nice orange flavor.  James comes up and says that he wants to buy me a shot.  Considering the fact that we know each other from the Cove, and that our friendship has formed rather quickly, who was I to say no?  We toasted to fond memories among other things, then downed the shot of Liquid Heroin [who comes up with these names?], which was damn strong with a fresh minty after taste.

Electric Sideshow was called to the stage, and as usual, the acts went off without a hitch.  There were quite a few faces I recognized, and in general the audience was very receptive of the whole thing.  It comes naturally for me to  interact with them, such as getting close to someone when hammering the second nail into my nose, or requesting verification that the weight I lift is indeed five pounds, or that the glass I was about to walk on is indeed real.  The Glass Walking routine seemed to actually be a big hit, which I expected to some extent, but even Barry was quite impressed, and congratulated me on a job well done.

After our set it was time for a game called  Shovey Bunny.  James wound up being one of the contestants, which may have been due to me volunteering him as one.  Rules of the game were quite simple: a marshmallow bunny would be placed in each cheek, and the contestants would have to say “shovey bunny” until the mouth was too full of marshmallow to do so.  It only took a few rounds for James to win, and everyone was dying of laughter at the amount of ‘mallow bunny body parts that littered the floor.  Post-game I escorted James to the bathroom because I have somehow become his official hair mistress, and as such I had to remove sticky bunny pieces from his locks.  Upon exiting we did a few shots of whiskey, and the whole time I had people coming up to me left and right, shaking my hand and commending me on a job well done.  That is exactly what makes what I do so enjoyable; business cards found hands and pockets.

As the evening wound down, I said my good-byes and made my exit, feeling a bit tipsy from the amount of alcohol consumed.  Stopped off at the Somerset Diner where the friendly waiter served me a Western omlette, buttered toast and a cup of coffee.  Breakfast in the early a.m. hours after ingesting booze is always the best.

Sleep was very welcomed when I went to bed, though I had strange dreams that prevented me from having a full night of it.


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