Trail to Passion

[Originally written on this date in 2005]

For one reason or another, I have not really had much time to go riding over the past few weeks.  This is partially due to super hot days where the humidity alone is enough to suck the oxygen out of my lungs, and I am not someone who does well in heat.  Also, I have been focused on adding a few acts to the Electric Sideshow repertoire since I would like to do a few performances outside of the Rail before I get this job.

There had been plans to do a show tonight, but something was just off to me.  Though I have enjoyed the shows we did these last couple of weeks, it was not the same as it used to be.  If I may be so bold in my opinion, I have not really cared for the crowd that comes.  There are familiar faces of people who have been there from the beginning and appreciate what we are doing, but there are new ones that were too scene for my taste and I do not like to go that route.  Since I am not in the habit of pigeonholing myself into gearing my acts towards a certain group of people, I am not about to start now.  You do not have to belong to some bullshit scene to like sideshow, and I refuse to feel as though I need to cater to one.

Instead I walked down to Shane’s and was surprised to find him home, so invited him to come out with me.  Drove to the D&R Canal which is now in full bloom, various flowers tossing their intoxicating aromas carelessly into the air.  Kissing and smoking have this magic quality to them when you are doing in the seclusion of the words, your partner visibly stimulated and practically begging for more.  Sitting on rocks next to the canal, the cool breeze of evening’s approach coasted over our arms, and I found myself to have this intense energy I didn’t know existed.  Once we started gropin, a sort of primal instinct kicked in, a driving force that came from deep within anda determination to keep going at all costs.  Various thoughts floated in my head, further fueling my efforts that resulted in a wild bought of passion which had us both struggling to catch our breath.

With the sky dark and stars twinkling, we shared a bottle of vodka on the way to the movie theater.  Here I should note that my attempts to procure the needed documents to obtain the much sought after job was a bust and I was in no mood to spend the night alone.  Frustration ensued, but I want this too much for myself to just give up, yet I still needed a temporary distraction.  Shane was more than happy to be my date to Land of the Dead, even managing to rustle up a few treats that were consumed in the parking lot between kisses.

What can I say about the film that others already haven’t?  While there was not as much gore as I would have liked to see, there were plenty of flesh-eating, bloody scenes for me to ignore the fact at times it seemed that the plot wasn’t really going anywhere.  It amuses me that Romero puts a random clown zombie in so many of his movies, and the zombies being well-organized was an interesting twist.  The scene where that girl got her navel ring ripped out was hilarious on account of how many people squealed and squirmed.  Any dull moments were filled with make-out sessions, sneaking sips of vodka and Shane whispering all the things he wanted to do in my ear while I giggled and said he should behave.

Afterwards, we were standing outside the theater where he was smoking a cigarette as we discussed our favorite pats of the film.  There was a small group of people on the corner who kept staring at us and shouting “What the fuck?”, which I know was directed at us since I heard one of them say something about my hair.  Now usually I tune people out when they say stupid shit concerning my appearance, especially when they are far too spineless to say it to my face.  In this instance, I was just having a good time with Shane and did not see what the point of being rude was.

It was probably the liquor and drugs that caused me to call them out, requesting that if they were going to spout something ignorant, at least have the decency to come over and confront me face to face.  They pretended they had no idea what I was talking about.  Yea, I just imagined they had said something.   Again I offered the opportunity for them to come over, but not one of them would step up.  One of the girls got offended and took an attitude when I  called her honey since that wasn’t her name or something.  Shane asked her what it was then and for some reason it was the perfect moment to do so as she said “shit”.

Shane starts laughing and says, “Your name is shit?”

They all got really quiet but we were roaring as we turned to walk towards the car.  It could not have been more than a second of having our backs turned when one of them commented “They can’t do anything. There’s more of us than them.

With knife in hand Shane faces them again and tells them that if they want to do something he’s standing right there.  Wouldn’t you know it the little kids finally ran off and had nothing to say.  The very fact that I even have to deal with such a vast amount of stupidity from people just sickens me.  There are individuals who believe I ‘ask for attention’ due to my modifications, and I vehemently disagree since negative attention such as what I experienced outside the theater makes me quite uncomfortable.  People will stare and I get that, but it certainly is not necessary for people to talk shit behind my back, or in any range where they are not properly addressing me.  When they are saying something in a manner where it is obvious they want to be loud enough for me to hear, I reserve the right to call them out and provide entertainment with their cowardly reactions.

On the bright side, Shane let me stay with him for the remainder of the evening and succeeded in assisting me forget all about the incident.

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